Not selling yourself short

In his Free Will horoscope for Pisces this week, Rob Brezsny notes, "...I believe you should err of the side of being somewhat self-promotional to compensate for your self-deprecating tendencies."

I don't like to think of myself as easily classifiable, but in this case, I fall squarely into Rob's Piscean portrait. My ability to self-deprecate is a long-standing talent of mine - my mother unwittingly spoon fed it to me during my youth and today, it's a tiger I get to tame every day.

For example, it's not unlike me to point out something missing in the food I've just prepared. Or to apologise for the state of my coat.

It's not that I'm digging for compliments. In fact, I have a terrible time accepting compliments (but that's a whole other bowl of fish). It's more that I'm constantly expecting criticism, and so, in a pre-emptive strike, I speak the criticisms first so that the words of others can't hurt me.

As in, I'm just saying what (I think) the rest of you are thinking. And if I can be funny at the same time, all the better! In general, it's all very tiring and I don't recommend it. There are far more entertaining hang-ups to have, I'm sure.

What I love about the return to freelance, is that the drive to earn a living is helping me to overcome the self-deprecation reflex. Lately, I'm all about presenting myself as a confident and experienced writer who has a lot to offer her clients. Because I am! My tone is positive and enthusiastic. I'm meticulous about my work and put a lot of forethought into every sentence I write.

The thing is, it's working. I'm developing strong relationships with my new clients. The mandates I'm entrusted with are challenging, and new opportunities are coming my way. There's no fake-it-until-I-make-it... I'm really making it this time.

So why am I maintaining this self-deprecating tendency in other aspects of my life? If you have a few minutes today, take a poke through your own life and see if you can't find some aspect where self-deprecation is dragging you down. Do you really deserve such harsh judgment from yourself?

What might change about the situation if you took a different attitude?