Tango, progress

Just because I've been neglecting the blog - that doesn't mean that I've stopped tango lessons. In fact, I have finally graduated to Intermediate 1 - and we're halfway through the session already.

Now that the steps are more-or-less understood, the challenge at this stage is refinement. That is, making the movements seem fluid, adding the extra decoration that elevates the step, and learning how to improvise.

It's a challenge indeed - but now that I've located my confidence, I'm beginning to relish the extra effort it demands. I can't imagine stopping my lessons now.

Funny story from the last lesson:

My partner, Henri, is 6'2", while I am 5'4" and a bit. As he's taller than I - and because his legs are so much longer than mine - I sometimes find myself leaning back a bit or standing to one side of his shoulders when we should be squared. Regardless, we have been dancing for months and it's been fine.

This week, when we changed partners, I danced with Martin a few times. Martin is just a few inches taller than I - and somehow the tango changed. Alignment was easier, ganchos were more precise and I felt very grounded. We both expressed such joy after our dances together.

And because these things sometime slip out, I exclaimed, "It's so nice to dance with someone my own size!"

But it's true! Has anyone else had a similar experience?

Tango - changing partners

At Tango Fabrika, the instructors always encourage us to change partners every few songs so that we can develop better dancing skills. Not only does it hone my ability to recognize cues, but it's also a real pleasure to feel how each partner has been improving over the last six weeks.

The students are pretty game - except for one couple that stoutly refused to be separated every time it was time to switch.

And then last week, just like that, they changed partners.

When it was my turn to dance with the man, he immediately began apologizing for his lack of skill. I just smiled and reassured him that I'd be patient, and within a few minutes he began to relax. It had never occurred to me that fear was preventing them from switching. But I don't suppose it ever occurred to him how liberating it might be to change partners.

Turns out, he was a very pleasant partner. Didn't step on my feet once. Had a nice touch on my back.

So to push the spirit of courageous improvement a little further, I went to Friday practica with fellow tanguera Jennifer. My goal was to have one partner and to not make a fantastic fool of myself. I got two partners - one was my teacher - and I think I did alright, but here comes a complaint!

Not enough male beginners at practica!

Most of the men in the room were far too advanced to dance with me - choosing instead to dance with more advanced and flambuoyant women. I would love to attend practica but if there are no male beginners to dance with, how will I improve? Although I was left breathless by some of the dancing on the floor, it was a little frustrating to be left sitting so long.

Blurgh!

Feeling tango

When I first started practicing yoga, I mechanically dragged myself through the postures. I was just trying to keep up. Then one day, the practice moved from "surface, automatic" to "interior, organic".

When "the practice" became "my practice", I truly fell in love with yoga.

It's the same thing with tango, yes?

When I first started dancing, there was a lot of intellectualization happening. Since then, I've been trying to shift tango down from my brain and up from my feet to my heart. I've been trying to "feel" tango and I think I'm beginning to approach that line between Like and Love.

Rebote and gancho probably have a lot to do with it. I've never had so much fun learning!

*Photo borrowed from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pforret/

Praise!

Good class tonight. The women had it easy - we practiced the cross system, so the men were doing most of the work.

And I got praise!

In tango, I do not as yet have a way to know if I am dancing correctly because I can't see myself as I move. I can usually tell if a yoga posture is correct because of my inner alignment, but I haven't learned those cues yet for tango.

Due to a lack of male partners, I danced once with the teacher, Jean-Philippe. I was a little nervous, but I just let myself be carried by the breath. We danced down one length of the room at one speed and then he slowed it down along the second length to see how I reacted to his cues.

The nerves came back as we slowed to a stop, but when he said, "Trés bien" - or very well - my heart soared. As silly as it may seem, getting praise from the teacher helps me to gauge my performance and inspires me to keep going. It helps me to feel hopeful about my improvement.

Even if I'm terrible at accepting compliments, when it comes to taking praise from my teachers, I hungrily eat up their words. Wanting and accepting praise is part of the learning process for me, as much as lectures, constructive criticism, and correction. Given in appropriate doses, it is an essential ingredient for motivation.

So if it's wrong to love praise, then let me be wrong, wrong, wrong!

Tango, propulsion and confidence

One of the aspects that I'm enjoying this time around is learning about propulsion - or more precisely, the way that the energy emanating from my partner propels me into the dance.

We did an exercise this week in which my partner kept his arms open and I held on to his arms just below the biceps ("squeeze it like you were checking the ripeness of a tomato"). He then had to move forward as if he were dancing alone - not touching me at all - as if I were not there.

The exercise was designed to teach the ladies how to flow into the natural forward movement of the male partner. It also helped to create a better connection between H. and I, in that we had to conceive of ourselves as being one core of energy moving to the music - rather than two separate entities.

It was very, very helpful and on so many different levels.

I can really feel my partner's energy now - partly because I am more attuned to it, but also because my partner is more confident. The more confidence that my partner shows in the dance, the more fluid my own movements become in response to that confidence. So proper propulsion results from an increase in confidence, but propulsion also creates more confidence.

We all know this.

Isn't it generally true that in most aspects of your life, when you are confident, it increases your productivity and success? And doesn't more productivity and success only lead to more confidence? To learn this lesson again in tango is no big surprise.

The real pleasure comes in realizing that I am finally beginning to feel the dance, rather than just trying to step my way through it.

Next week? Gancho!

*J'aime Tango Shoes, available for purchase online

Tango, the return

To say that I was excited about my first tango class in over seven months is an understatement. I wore my super sexy dress from Etsy, did up my eyes with mascara and eye shadow, and styled my hair just so. I wanted to step on that dance floor feeling as good as I looked - especially since I knew our first few steps would be clunky.

Due to a mix-up with the dates, we turned up for the second to last session of Beginner I, instead of the first session of Beginner II. The new instructors suggested that we finish level one with the rest of the group, and H and I quickly agreed, both thrilled at the opportunity for more brush-ups.

Those first steps were clunky, but the joy that bubbles up whenever I tango was still there. In the familiar touch of my partner's hands. In the flare of my skirt as I ocho-ed. In the long line of my calf as I extended my heel backwards. My heart was floating on the music.

And guess who didn't look at her feet? Not even once? ME!

Tonight was just a jumble of emotions, but I already have ideas for future posts. Not only do I get to tango - but I get to write about it too. Looking forward to sharing it with you in the weeks to come.

Return to tango

After a long absence, I am finally making my return to tango on January 18 (yay!). As we haven't danced since last April, my partner and I have decided to repeat Beginner II.

I was tempted to go back to Beginner I, but the holiday potluck at AYM changed my mind.

I had just shuffled into the yoga studio with my socks on, balancing a box of clementines on my arm, when I heard Allison call out, "Adriana can tango!"

Before I could worry about the veracity of that statement, I found myself divested of my oranges and gathered in the arms of a pleasant looking man I had never seen before. With a reminder to not "look at your feet," I spent the next 20 minutes rediscovering my not-so-deeply buried tango skills.

To my quiet amazement, my feet knew the way. I was dancing with an experienced tanguero who indicated our next movements with Morse-like precision on my back. I knew exactly what he wanted me to do and my feet followed with no prompting from my brain.

It was exhilarating - my breath bubbling in my chest with happiness. I cannot wait to return to my lessons.

What does community look like?

I was catching up on a week's worth of blog reading this morning when I read a recent post by the extraordinary Roseanne (whom I’ve never even met in RL, even though she lives just a few blocks from me and we seem to be living parallel lives) over at It's all yoga, baby. In this post, she makes a visual representation of her community - that is, who she knows and how she knows them.

Wild at the thought of possibly making venn diagrams, I dropped everything to draw my own community.

Ta-dah!

I started out by defining the main areas of activity in my life where I met/meet people. Plotting out the different communities was fun - but not as fun as drawing arrows between communities to indicate multiple links. I have one writing buddy - Alexis - who was originally a school buddy, who is now also a work buddy and a neighbourhood buddy. And she's starting tango soon. And she's done yoga in the past.

Most of the arrows point back towards the Mile-End/Plateau because that's where most of the people I know live/work, so there's more traffic in that corner, but understandably so. In fact, now that I think about it, there are probably a few more arrows that could have pointed towards the Mile-End/Plateau segment.

Two things to note:

1) My family doesn't link up to any other sphere in my life other than geographical location.

2) I have a whole segment of friends that I met through social media (excluding blogs) - like Patra or Jay. Although these people have since joined other segments of my life (Patra also now belongs to "Writing Buddies" too), the point of origin is the Internet.

Having completed this diagram, I feel more confident that I must be doing okay in the running-my-life department. I have a variety of segments and vectors, indicating many friends who share the same values and interests that I do. My life looks very busy and full when seen in 2D - a nice counterweight to my usual, "What, me? I don't do anything - I'm boring!"

If you don't see where you fit in this diagram, let me know so I can revise it. I want to keep this on my fridge so that if I'm having a pity party one day, I can look at it and put things back in perspective.

So get to it! What does your community look like?

What I miss about tango

Good news - my tango adventures begin anew on October 21! Until then, I have some new music to keep me happy.

What I miss about tango: The way some partners will sway you from side to side when the music starts. Almost as if they were weighing your contents to better understand how to move you on the floor.

If you missed my previous adventures, get a taste here, here and here.

My first practica

Today was a very good day in my new tango career.

Henri and I tried the practica at Studio Tango this afternoon and it was mostly scary, hugely challenging and finally, very thrilling.

We inched through the door and were shocked to see the dance floor alive with swirling couples. Having only taken lessons in small groups, we've never had to navigate around other couples before. Café tables, yes. But swiftly-moving couples who obviously have great skill and confidence. NO.

I was quivering in my brand-new, butter-soft tango shoes.

'If we can get through this,' we decided, 'we can take on anything.'

It was brutal. As beginners, we have undeveloped flow and a bad habit of hesitating. And because we were nervous, we kept forgetting what we were supposed to be doing. We tried to keep to the periphery and not get in anyone's way, but progress  was slow and after 30 minutes, we took a breather to regroup. The frustration was ripe.

That's when the most amazing thing happened. An older gentlemen - perhaps in his 50s or 60s - asked me to dance. I warned him (twice) that I was very beginner and only had 3 months practice.

"Then it's the perfect time to learn," he replied serenely.

This angel - whose name I forgot to ask - patiently led me around the floor for three tangos. He slowed down the steps to show me the technique. He praised me when I successfully learned the step. He even showed me the gancho when I started to move more confidently.

My heart was fluttering like a young girl's. It was one of the most wonderful tango experiences I've had. But it is exactly this openness and sharing that makes it easy for me to love tango.

Merci Monsieur!

My first tango shoes!

I know, I know... nothing fancy, but I wanted a strong shoe that could help me really learn the skills. I'll eventually work my way up to Comme il faut, but for now, these Blochs will do.

Also, I never wear high heels, so I need to train my feet with a little height at a time.

Lastly, I have found a solution! There's a very reputable tango studio in Old Montreal that has a practica on Sunday afternoons between 4-6pm. Apparently one of the best teachers there is also a yogi at AYM, so I feel even better about the decision.

I can't wait to take these shoes dancing.

Tango lesson 12

If you haven't already heard, I've been having a trying week.

As a result, tango class on Wednesday was possibly the longest 90 minutes of my life. I was wobbly, dizzy and distracted, making for much apologizing and little grace. I experienced the same frustrations in yoga the evening before, and so I tried to breathe and do my best, but it was a hot mess out there.

But the worst part was, the knowledge that I am not prepared for the next level. Extra practice would have helped, but since the only sessions are Friday nights from 9-10pm, it's been far easier to crumble into my bed and sleep off the week's stresses instead.

So now that the Beginner II level is complete, I have to decide how to juggle the following:

• Re-enrolling for Beginner II, with or without my partner
• Making the practica on Friday night
• Checking out other tango studios
• Finding a more convenient practice session in another studio
• Whether or not to enroll at all since it will overlap with yoga teacher training

I don't want to stop dancing (like Mari says about the tango, if not now, when?) I just don't know how to make it work. Any advice?

Tango lesson 11

My tango partner wasn't looking so great this week. That is, he had really injured his thigh during a capoeira class a few hours before. So for the first few dances, his movements were stiff, his face was tense and his frustration was running high.

He kept repeating, "I don't know if I can stick it out tonight."

But he took a couple deep breaths, put himself back into the moment and was soon leading me across the floor with his usual smile. By the end of class, his leg was feeling better.

This week's lesson has nothing to do with the health benefits of tango - although I'm sure there are many. It has everything to do with that one attitude that most people refuse to adopt:

Breathe. Relax. You'll accomplish more than you can imagine.

I don't know about you, but that's something that I definitely needed to be reminded of this week.

Tango lesson 10

And so the love affair with tango continues.

As the feelings of bliss increase with every lesson, so do tiny revelations like you can tango to Tom Waits and Damien Rice. One of the bigger concepts that I'm presently working on is the Collect.

The "Collect" is the act of stretching one foot out, and then transferring your weight onto that foot before bringing the other foot forward.

Simply put, it's taking a step and then bringing your feet together. Remembering to place your feet in the coquettish "v" and to lift the heel, of course.

As I'm discovering, the Collect is one of the most basic and important steps in tango. It's a transition step that allows you to shift your weight and keep your balance between step. It's also a preparation between systems of movement. Without the Collect, the tango dancer cannot gain the flexibility needed for the next step.

Tango babies often pause too long in the Collect because our brains have something to say or we're unsure of what to do next. This interrupts the flow of the tango not because it breaks the momentum. Tango doesn't work on momentum - all movement comes from the core and the balls of the feet - so it's definitely not the momentum. What it does is break the sensual line of the leg, because a long pause generally causes the leg to lose the tone, poise and flexibility required for the next move.

As you improve, it becomes easier to move more fluidly through the Collect. However, you must also be careful not to push through the Collect too quickly. When you do, you lose control of the leg and your feet start to fly out as if you were in a salsa class.

It's all about finding the mid-point.

I'm learning the mid-point right now and the challenge suits me fine.

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SUMMARY FROM WEEK 10:

1. It's important to give yourself into transition points, as they give you the flexibility and preparedness for all future movement.
2. If you hesitate too long, you will lose focus and strength.
3. If you move too quickly, you will behave in ways that are unbecoming.
4. Equilibrium is key in every thing.

Tango lesson 9

Three huge developments last week:

1) I now have enough skills now that I think I can get through a tango (with someone other than my usual partners) without embarassing myself.

2) Now when I listen to tango music, I want to dance.

3) And finally, a good piece of advice from Bulent: "If you feel the energy pulling you forward, then just go forward. Instead of hesitating, it's better to just go and make a mistake. That's the only way you'll learn."

I cannot wait for next week's class...

Tango lesson 8

So I'm doing okay! I'm measuring this on two criteria: (1) I feel good and (2) less intervention from the teachers. The crossover is seriously testing me, but I should survive.

My only notable observation from this week's lesson is: I'm not really listening to the music. And I should be.

I appear to be too absorbed by what's happening in my body and with my partner. The music is like a distant sound creating a soft background. I'm not actively listening to the tempo so as to move with greater purpose.

So my challenge over the next weeks is to:

(1) Listen to more tango music especially when I'm not in the studio. I listen to some at work - as recommended by many - but I need to listen more... and more attentively.

(2) Not rely on my partner so much to set the tempo.

(3) Try to better understand the role of music in tango.

So much to learn - but so exciting.

Tango lesson 7 - Beginners II

So Wednesday is the new Tuesday - Beginners II is on a new day and at a new time (8.30-10.00pm). Tonight's class was very satisfying and as I walked home, I started to worry about a subject for this post.

"What did I learn tonight?"

No answer in mind, I came home and started reading the backlog of unread posts in my Google Reader account. And that's when I read this in MsHedgeHog:

I want to express myself musically, without making a big performance of it. I want to interact with men, and other women, in a way that gives me joy and doesn't weigh me down with burdens. I want to get all dolled up, once or twice a week, and feel graceful, and sensual, and fun-loving. I want a reason to wear pretty clothes and shoes. I want to do something with my body, and delight in it, and have it appreciated by other people. I want to do all this as well as I can, but without an obligation to anyone but me.

And then I realised the miracle that tango has produced in my life (or has helped produce in my life). Quite suddenly - and without advance notice - I'm starting to like my legs.

This is the part where I explain.

Every woman has (at least) one part of their body that they would gladly exchange in a heartbeat - for me, it's my legs. Although I had a very nice calf and strong feet, everything above the knee and up to the hip brings me no joy. I have been blessed with many good features, but gams... I don't got.

But during class - somehow - my legs feel longer, more sensual, more worthy of admiration. I feel like I could suddenly seduce with one s-sweep of the ankle.

I'm not questioning how. I'm just grateful. Thank you, tango!

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NB1:

Thanks to the power of the Google search engine, I find myself now welcomed into a community of tango bloggers whose passion for tango is bone-deep and for life. To meet some inspiring tangueras, drop in on MsHedgeHog, but there's also Elizabeth at Working Artist - Tango, Art, Life and our friend Mtnhighmama at Sweetest of Things. There are more - I just haven't gotten to all of them yet!

NB2:
I found a whole new tango shoe company called Nueva Epoca. Their website is the source of today's footwear selection.

Tango lesson 6

It was very good cold in Montreal on Tuesday. Like 17 degrees below zero. I arrived at the studio with frozen earlobes and a runny nose, desperately needing to feel the blood moving through my veins again. And it did.

There is only one thing I learned in tango yesterday night: I am finally making progress in reading cues - no matter who my partner is. In fact, I am now better able to tell the difference between muddy cues and clear cues.

Partner X: Why are you still waiting with your ankles crossed?

Me: Because you haven't told me where to move yet.

PX: I haven't?

Me: Nope. I'm looking at your shoulders right now and they're pretty quiet. So are the arms.

PX: I think I was using my hands...

Me: Let's try again!

On occasion, I become very worried that I'll miss a cue. Every sense is listening (too) attentively for the tell-tale tip of the arm, the unmistakeable opening of the shoulder, but in those moments, I find myself becoming distracted by the colour of my partner's shirt, what other people were doing, whether the instructors were watching, etc.

If I'm not focussed, my senses take in too much, everything starts to feel like a cue and I make false starts. Last night I understood how easy it is to identify the cues when you let your mind dwell only in the circle of your arms. And in the circle of your partner's arms.

It's like another form of meditation. But in heels!

The fun part is - my partners are also better able to identify my cues. We're still baby chicks, but at least now we can help each other improve.

Tango lesson 5

And here is your weekly dose of 'things Adriana learned in tango tonight'. If there any real life applications to these experiences, I leave it to you, my perspicacious readers, to sort them out.

1) I am now at a crucial point. That point where I've learned just enough and am a touch too confident. As a result, lesson 5 was spent over-thinking everything, taking too-big steps, and leaning my torso too far back. There were some moments of brilliance, but they were inevitably followed by some cocky over-flourishing.

So why is this point so crucial? It is precisely at this point that I either (a) get back to basics by practicing more and letting the movement sink into my bones, my flesh, or (b) decide that it's too hard, chalk it up as a fun experience and move on to knitting (or something).

I'm booked for an extra practice on Friday.

2) I have a low centre of gravity and I'm willing to use it! This evening, I finally learned the key to making ochos sizzle. I was following the instructions as given, but somehow my ochos lacked the flow and sensuality they so richly deserve. Bulent strolled by and said, "Bend your knees slightly, shorten your step, move all your weight downward, and then pivot on the toe."

What? Shorten my step?? That's new. Okay, let's try that...

Suddenly, my hips swivelled through the air with a saucy smooth snap, my feet were hitting the mark, and my partner's next signal was *that* much clearer.

Right now I could say something about the importance of listening, but I am too stoked about practicing more ochos on Friday. Short steps, Palanca, short steps...

Tango lesson 4

I love learning new things. Tango is teaching me new things. Ergo, I'm loving tango. Here's why:

• I always assumed that to learn to dance, you had to worry primarily about the footwork. If you had the footwork down pat, you could refine the rest. Whoo-hoo, was I wrong! In tango, not only do you have to learn how to push your body forward in one fluid movement, but you also have to be completely aware of what your partner's body is saying. Footwork is just a small part of it. You have to be completely versed in your body's energy, your partner's energy, and how the two interact.

• I love the push and pull. That is, I love feeling my body's weight against my partner's. I love feeling his weight against mine. And I especially love how the resistance created by those two weights can transform us into beautiful, sensual creatures in motion.

• As Mtnhighmama pointed out, the inconsistencies. Tango is as unpredictable as love, sometimes fluid and romantic, sometimes difficult and requiring special attention and care. In moments, the only way to be successful at tango is to not overthink it. In others, to be successful, you have to be totally focussed on your movements. It changes every moment and you have to be open enough to welcome every change - rather than gnash your teeth and stop. The yogi in me can appreciate this.

And we're not even very good yet! How is it going to feel when we're not stumbling through the rough bits?