"Are you sure?"

Don't you hate it when people continue to argue with you even when you know you're right?

It's like that Kids in the Hall skit in which Dave Foley continues to argue with Kevin McDonald, insisting that KM is wrong, even though it's fairly obvious that KM is right.

I didn't have to stab anyone with a fork, but I did have a similar experience in Powell's kitchen on Saturday night. I can't remember the exact phrase that set off the 'debate', but it doesn't really affect the telling, so read on...

ME: She said something like, 'the wind has a peaceful face'.

P: Isn't that anthropomorphizing?

Me: You mean attributing human characteristics to something that's not human?

P: I think so. But that isn't an example of anthropomorphizing.

Me: Yes, it is.

P: No, it isn't. Anthropomorphize means you attribute a human action to a non-human.

DSP enters the kitchen in search of another lychee martini.

DSP: Are you guys discussing anthropomorphism?

ME and P: Yes.

DSP: Like the attributing of human characteristics to something that's not human.

P: Except it's not just characteristics - you have to attribute actions for it to be anthropomorphism.

ME: No, you don't. It can be characteristics as well.

DSP: (pouring herself a martini) You take English Lit too, Adriana?

ME: Just a Master's.

P: You guys are wrong.

ME: I'm getting a dictionary.

Powell brings me a dictionary. Flip, flip, flip...

ME: Definition is... "the attribution of human characteristics or behavior to a god, animal, or object."

POWELL: (tipsy, sloshing her martini a little) It's an American dictionary though...

DSP: (gently guiding Powell out to the livingroom) It's okay, it means the same thing in both countries.

POWELL: (being led) Basstarrds.

ME: So it's not limited to actions.

P: But attributing characteristics is personification.

ME: But that's a whole different word. We was trying to ascertain the definition of anthro...

And that's when it struck my how absolutely ludicrous is was to be arguing literary terms in the kitchen while everyone else was getting loosey-goosey on martinis in the other room.

That, and there were too many forks lying around.