What I would have really liked was go camping. I've never been and everyone I know is seemingly too-citified to consider it. Powell, for example, refuses to go anywhere without an electrical outlet for her hair dryer. One of my colleagues at work, at the mention of camping, snortled and said, "People only go camping because they think it's romantic, but it isn't."
"I don't have the mothering instinct."
"I'm not equipped to raise a human being."
"I'm too neurotic as it is."
"I have other things I want to do with my life."
Whatever their personal reason, most of these women are highly-functioning human beings who contribute to the communities in which they live and work. Other than than occasional (well-meaning but nonetheless hurtful) lecture on how it's natural to want a child, and how a woman is never really complete until she's given birth, most people are accepting of this choice.
Some final thoughts for those you of you currently struggling with demons --
Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.
--- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
- Published, highly-successful debut novel
- Prize-winner respected by her peers
- Sharing her life with an equally creative partner
- Nice hair
- The bedroom is too big for me
- The TV takes up too much space
- The back room needs to be organized
- My stone Buddha is cute on the floor, but he needs a home
- Move the bedroom to the back room (but keep the closet up front)
- Turn my current boudoir into the entertainment/TV room (must purchase new couch)
- Change current living room into a détente area with lots of colourful cushions and pretty tapestries
- Move Buddha into the détente area??
As breathing is the core of yoga, I began to feel the benefits of this new practice immediately. One of the first concepts you're taught as a yogi is that most people only use the top third of their lungs while breathing, and that to breathe more effectively, you must learn to use your full lung capacity.
Simply put, most of us breathe at the level of our collarbones, with our chests pumping in and out. Yogis learn to breathe with their full rib cage, and are able to breathe through the back as well.
These early morning classes I'm now taking are proving to be beneficial in that I seem to be more aware of my breath at seven a.m. than I am at seven p.m. Especially when in savasana. Even though I am lying on my back, I feel my breath moving horizontally and not just vertically. My organs and muscles moving apart like tectonic plates with each exhale, and then knitting back together again on the inhale.
So your challenge for the day? Try breathing with your whole lungs. Use you full rib cage. Feel that oxygen moving around...
NB1: Chapter Five is a hot mess, but getting better.
Lil' Gabe is 3 and a half now and so it's very important that we always have a ready supply of fruit snacks. If we're out shopping or at the bank or whatever, fruit snacks have the ability to soothe the savage three year old. We like to let Gabe pick out his own fruit snacks and he usually will choose Spider-Man or maybe SpongeBob. However I came home recently and found these in the pantry.
I would love to know what sick bastard at Kelloggs came up with this genius idea. I just spent the first three years of my sons life trying to get him not to eat blocks, and now you're telling him they taste like fucking strawberries. Thanks a lot assholes. Seriously, how in the hell did this ever get past their legal department. You can't tell me that this isn't a lawsuit just waiting to happen. I can only assume that their next product is fruit flavored thumbtacks
There’s a silvery mist over Lake Ontario. Only an hour left before our arrival in Toronto.
The last time I visited the Queen’s City was winter 2007. We stayed in an old house that shuddered with cold. All weekend long my body shuddered too, with a feverish chill and violent sneezes that left my tongue feeling thick and heavy in my mouth.
But I did eat the best veggie dog of my life on the corner of Dundas and Yonge at one o’clock in the morning.
I am tempted to leave my bags at the hotel and find that vendor again. Maybe stick my head into H&M. I should nap instead. Ms. Julie needs to look fabbo tomorrow.
So Ms. Julie is a character created by the QWF to celebrate and promote English-language literature by Quebec writers. The promotional campaign featuring Ms. Julie (er, me) will be launched at BookExpo in Toronto this weekend, with Ms. Julie herself making an appearance during both days of the event.
To help Ms. Julie share her love of Quebec literature with the rest of Canada, the QWF has created a poster and a booklet featuring Ms. Julie and the various new English-language Quebec books that she’ll be enjoying this summer and fall.
I tried to attached the image but sometimes technology wins the battle. I'll try again later.
And there’s that huge Bowmanville refinery that spreads along the left side of the train like a cement spider. Oshawa is not far off. More stories later.
12.21/ Starbucks, Yonge and King Sts.
Notable sighting. Lesbian couple strolling hand in hand. The one on the right is wearing a t-shirt that says:
However, although Neilsen’s points are persuasive, I only really came to understand the important of his words after following two small rational detours. Here they are:
The guru of usability writes that the difference between the Web and television can be summarized as lean forward vs. lean back, in that the Web is an active medium used for a specific purpose, while TV is a passive medium allowing viewers to slip into relaxation mode.
Further down the page, Neilsen writes, “In linear media — such as print and TV — people expect you to construct their experience for them. Readers are willing to follow the author’s lead. In non-linear hypertext, the rules reverse.”
Users want to construct their own experience by piecing together content from multiple sources, emphasizing their desires in the current moment.
In such a context, good Web writing is crucial. Anyone who continues to believe that cutting and pasting generic marketing copy into their website is making a potentially disastrous mistake.
If your Web text does not immediately answer your visitor’s question, they will move on to other sources - and quite possibly never return. Good Web writing will ensure that users stay on – and ideally, return to – your site to satisfy their needs.
I can scoot my booty parallel to my hips and I can even lift my legs without having to kick up (thanks abs!). My last hurdle is that my legs tend to fall against the wall once I'm up. I need to get that tailbone action going to keep my legs - and pelvis - aligned straight up.
Soon, Palanca, soon.
Lesson for the day: in yoga - as with other things in life - time and practice is the only path to success. If it takes me another three months to get it right, then I look forward to salamba-ing like crazy in September.
So be patient in every thing you do today. You're getting closer to the goal. I promise.
Even though I haven't finished reading this issue, I started to blog about it on the strength of Lane's review - and the new short story by Nabokov.
I like Lane's review because:
Between you and me, I never really liked Sex and the City, the television series. I loved watching the parade of gorgeous shoes and fabulous outfits, but when the mouths started moving, I really didn't pay attention. In fact, there's only one episode I like - A Woman's Right to Shoes - as every disgruntled repeat bridesmaid should.
(My calculations would indicate that I have spent something like $10,000-$12,000 on other people's weddings. Ugh.)
After reading the review, I felt like I have found a kindred spirit in Anthony... and that I no longer had to hide my limp enthusiasm in seeing the girly movie of the year. If it's an opportunity to get crazy with my girls and slap arms whenever some sick pair of shoes crosses the screen, then I'll do it. Otherwise, I'll be pining for the Audrey Hepburn era with Anthony.
Best writing from the Lane review:
As the release date neared, the paranoia thickened; at the screening I attended, we were asked not only to surrender our cell phones but to march through a beeping security gate, as if boarding a plane to Tel Aviv. There was even a full-body pat-down, by far the biggest turn-on of the night. Not a drop of the forthcoming plot had been leaked in advance, but I took a wild guess. “Apparently,” I said to the woman behind me in line, “some of the girls have problems with their men, break up for a while, and then get back together again.” “Oh, my God!” she cried. “How do you know?”
I like Nabokov's story because:
I love Nabokov, first of all. His words flutter and move like ribbons in the wind - his images so crisp, you see the scene immediately before your eyes. Nabokov's ability to imbue the tiniest detail with the most resplendent beauty has been an inspiration to my own writing.
Best excerpt from the Nabokov story:
She flitted past in her rustling raincoat, hatless.
Leaning over the bannister, Wolfe glanced back at her. For an instant he caught sight from overhead of the sleek, girlish part in her hair. Still whistling, he climbed to the top floor, threw his rain-soaked briefcase on the bed, then thoroughly and satisfyingly washed and dried his hands.
"Devo fare un bisogno" (for example)
The word "bisogno" means need. So the meaning of that phrase is equivalent to, "I have a need to take care of" or "I'm just going to take care of something".
Italian is such a pretty language, that even poo-ing sounds pretty and delicate.
In my head, I'm a coward. I never speak when I should. I never say what I really mean. And I certainly don't ever ask for what I want. So how could I possibly be intimidating to anyone?
Some day I'm going to be like a Tegan & Sara song. Heart on my sleeve. Unapologetic. Fiercely asking to be loved unconditionally. Unafraid. Speaking the truth always and crisply.
En passant, I nearly peed in my pants yesterday watching Tina Fey eat a whole sandwich in real time on 30 Rock. Check out the video - it's easily one of my favourite moments in television. I don't think she's chewing.
My friend Isa has informed me that this month's new moon begins precisely at 2:23 p.m. on Tuesday, June 3 (her information comes from NASA - I think they can be trusted in these matters).
What does this have to do with anything?
According to Isa, any wishes you make within 8 hours of the new moon have a better chance of coming true.
So, before 10:23 p.m., hand write 10 wishes in ink on paper. It's usually best to focus on one subject at a time. Be specific.
Let me know if it works.
Your musical heads-up of the week: She & Him, formed by M. Ward, one of my folksy favourites, and the lovely Zooey Deschanel, one of my perennial girl crushes. And good news for Benjy Ferree fans - he'll be at Le National on October 22!
And for you Facebook whores:
- Canoe regatta
- Fig shindig