Yes, I did pay $2.50 for this magazine in October 1987. I probably bought it at the metro dép on my way to Villa Maria, or at the maison de presse in the Cote-St-Luc shopping centre. I was fourteen. I can't be blamed.First, what soul-less graphic designer allowed him/herself to be paid for this work? Anyone else getting seasick at the mish-mash of bright colours and screaming headlines? I nearly lost my breakfast when faced with the contrast between Madonna's lipstick, blond hair, white skin and muppet-big eyebrows. Did they have Photoshop in '85?
And what's that weird icon in the centre of it all? Is that a pencil-drawn fedora-wearing paparazzi taking a picture? How did that get in there? As Tha Connaisseur would say, WTF???
Wait a minute... and where did that title come from? This magazine has British pop stars wearing make-up, white guys with feathered hair, and one brown-ish guy jammed into the corner, but there is no hip hop anywhere. I don't see LL Cool J staring out between Kirk Cameron and Rob Lowe, do you?
Maybe it refers to the reaction of girls when they saw a new issue on the shelves? I know I did a lot of hopping when I saw a glossy new cover with dreamy dreamboat Morten Harket. Who wouldn't be excited to see teasers like these?
- Rob Sobs! Can you dry his tears???
- 50! Count them! 50!
- A-HA! Love facts!
- More hunks! More pin-ups! More dirt!
- Duran Duran. They're notorious!
For kicks, I may have to buy today's Hip Hop! equivalent to see how things have changed - or how they've stayed the same. Whose tears are young girls dreaming of mopping up these days?
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8 comments:
All of these questions are indeed relevant. But I have another: who is Brian Bloom (see upper left corner)? He looks like the nephew of the magazine publisher, who is being slipped onto the cover to convince his teenage classmates that he is actually very cool, and not just the recording secretary of the chess club.
Much like Leif Garrett, Brian Bloom achieved teen-frenzy stardom without having to make any lasting artistic contribution.
He made brief appearances on a soap opera, Melrose Place, The Nanny, etc., but he never maintained one role in the same way that Kirk Cameron did.
The blue eyes made him pin-up worthy, but his talent got him no further than a recent guest spot on CSI Miami.
I expect to see him on Dancing With the Stars any day now...
There was no Photoshop in 1985...there were no hi-res colour screens back then! Version 1.0 shipped in 1990.
This was probably pre-desktop publishing entirely, done old skool with phototypesetting, Letraset, x-acto knives, glue stick, rubylith masks and hand-marked-up colour separation notes for the printers. (Which makes it all the more remarkable, really!)
But then again teen idol fan magazines have always had a kind of handmade, cheap'n'cheerful quality to them, haven't they?
Ad, you know an unnerving amount about Brian Bloom. It's a little creepy, actually. I hope all of that info came from imdb.com.
Also, I will not have Leif Garrett's star besmirched by such comparisons. Did Brian Bloom have a *Behind the Music* devoted to him in which he is confronted by the guy who he put in a wheelchair? I think not.
I can blame my knowledge of Brian Bloom on having purchased too many magazines, and watching too many late night episodes of CSI.
How would you like to explain your star-struck devotion to Leif Garrett?
Being a fan of Behind the Music. And, um, being sorta gay.
Sold!
Oh dear lord please do not get me started...
amc
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