11.03.2008

Rant. And help needed.

The previous owner of my condo suggested I put up a NO BIKES PLEASE sign on my front fence, warning me that bikes left locked on the fence could be a hazard in wintertime.

You see, in deep snow, those zippy sidewalk sweepers cannot gauge where the fence ends, and it's happened that while zipping along, they have missed the mark. Now I don't know much about physics, but I do understand that when a speeding object hits a stationary target (unless it's a moose), the moving object wins.

On two occasions, the sweepers have hit bikes on the front lawn - and have taken the fence with them. In fact, the previous owner even took the City of Montreal to court to have her fence repaired last year - and she won. Today, the fence is still a little bent near the entry to the path.

Also, I had beautiful rose bushes that grew around the fence. I didn't want them crushed!

So I put up the sign, using tie-wraps to make it nice and tight against the fence. To be kind to my neighbours, I placed the sign near the opening, where the fence is less stable. This still left them two places - near the outer, anchoring posts - in which to lock their bikes.

I have this cranky German man renting a flat next door who has been heard complaining about my sign, grumbling that people should be allowed to lock their bikes anywhere, that the owner promised him he would always have a place for his bike on the street, and other anarchist-type comments that display a disturbing detachment from reality.

Now let's remember:
  • Cranky German man (CGM) is not my tenant and lives in another building
  • I own my condo, therefore making the fence private property
  • Numerous times, while he and his less surly girlfriend have been standing by my fence locking their bikes to the sanctioned corners, I have walked out of my home and smiled at them, never being mean or asking them to cease and desist.
In the summer, I tried say hell to CGM (sans girlfriend), but he stared at me coldly like I was dirt. Two days later, I discovered that someone had defaced my sign with a sticker featuring a tree and a line drawn through it (anti-nature? wha??). I calmly peeled it off.

Two days ago, I bid him good morning. More cold stares. And this morning? Someone had stolen my sign. And considering how firmly it was affixed to my fence, CGM (or whoever it was) had to bring tools with him.

Could someone please explain to me how I became the bad guy in all this?

My only thought? Putting up another sign, and then asking my father for big wire cutters so that I can"liberate" CGM's bike the next time he locks it to my fence. Maybe even lock it my balcony and force him to come and ask for it.

This is obviously not the *adult* way to deal with the matter. So, any suggestions?

5 comments:

Unknown said...

everytime he leaves the bike from here on out, deflate the tires (or if you are madder, slash them). Once he's lost 2-3 hours of his life he'll learn.

Tha Connoisseur said...

I like your idea about the wire cutters. &*%$ the adult part of it. Sorry, it's the evil Gemini twin reporting...lol

ad said...

I love my friends.

Maggie said...

Is the fence technically private property? Your property line probably ends a bit before it, and the fence itself is on municipal land - I think.

But, one option is to put up a new sign that starts with PRIVATE PROPERTY

Another is to put up a sign that says NO BIKES NOVEMBER-APRIL DUE TO SNOW CLEARING

Finally, you could just get a really big dog, preferably a German Shepherd, and train him to eat grumbly neighbours ;)

ad said...

I am loathe to say anything, because I may jinx myself... but I think the neighbours are already well trained.

No one has locked their bike to my forbidden fence.

I guess I'll return the tape of the growling dogs.