Facebook status lines for your ex

If my Google Analytics are correct, many of my fellow Web-denizens are looking for snappy Facebook status lines that they can throw in an ex's avatar face.

Although I like Lily Allen's breakup style, I will try to keep this clean. Mostly.

So here are some for the ladies:

• Lily says, "Next, suivant!..."
  
• Lily is amazed! This one runs on batteries but it does the job better! Twice even!
• Lily would miss you, but I have to wash my hair tonight.
• Lily: Man washed out my hair? Check! New lingerie for new boyfriend? CHECK!
• Lily: "Hey [name], now that we've broken up, do you want your balls back?"
  

And some for the gents:

• Allen says: "Hey [name], your fat butt makes your butt look big!"
  
• Allen looks forward to filling the hole you left in my heart with beer, rock'n'roll and sexy girls.
• Allen used to love [name] like crazy - until I discovered she was crazy.
• Allen knows two ways to heal a broken heart: Beer and girls.
• Allen would just like [name] to know that he was lying. About everything. Yes, everry-thing.

Any other suggestions?