Sometimes you can make yourself feel better by thinking of all the people that have it worse off than you.
"oh, at least my situation is not as bad as So-And-So"
This is a terrible way to think because in doing so, you implicitly desire that suffering will continue to exist. If it doesn't, then what crutch will you use to make yourself feel better?
The same is also true when you complain that everyone is happier than you are. Once again, you are implicitly desiring that others be less happy so that your meager happiness doesn't look quite so... meager.
It is not healthy to lift you spirits by stepping on the shoulders of others. If you wish to be truly happy, you must thoroughly accept and understand that you are not any better - or any worse off - than anyone else.
I've spent a lifetime comparing myself to others and it has only made me miserable. It's time to stop. Anyone else willing to take on the challenge with me?
I've spent a lifetime comparing myself to others and it has only made me miserable. It's time to stop. Anyone else willing to take on the challenge with me?
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Where does compassion come from, if not in the realization that X is worse off than Y?
I'm definitely willing to take on that challenge with you. I'm an image industry refugee who has spent years constantly comparing myself and my lot in life. It is a crutch - and an illusion, because ultimately, it tells you nothing real. Thank you for posting this. :)
Compassion comes in realizing that Y is just like me.
Nice to see you again, Mari :)
I start tango again in mid December - cannot wait to exchange with you on that too.
Two words: Scarlett O'Hara.
Sure, she's fictional, but according to Margaret Mitchell, she was based on her very real grandmother, and I can't say it seems completely unlikely.
What I like about Scarlett O'Hara is that she doesn't sit there and try to act like things aren't bad. She'll fully admit that they are, then figure out how to make them not bad. I know it's now a cliché, but there's no better example of it than when she turns a curtain into that dress. Talk about making lemonade!
But seriously, I love her approach, and I try to use it in my own life. "Yes, this sucks. How can I make it suck less?"
And usually, when I put the question out there, the answer is just around the corner (or hanging from a curtain rod).
Great comment, Mrs! I've missed you too.
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