Tampax for beginners

My mother recently insisted that I clean out my boxes (and boxes and boxes) of old magazines, cheap novels and outdated catalogs that have been cluttering her basement for years (and years and years).

This is just one of the little gems I found - a Tampax ad dating back to 1985. Some notes:

1. Copywriter says too much text.
2. Check out the glasses on Susan. I had a similar pair. They looked no better on me. And they certainly did not increase my understanding of algebra.
3. I love the juxtaposition of the smart-but-afraid-of-her-body-Susan with the algebra-challenged-but-prettier Karen. While Susan hides her blossoming body with that folder, Karen is all Tampax-protected confidence. Look at that bow in her hair. That unbuttoned polo collar. Oh, Karen, you hussy!
4. "I thought you couldn't use a tampon if you were a virgin. Karen used to think that too, till her Mom told her that wasn't true." Sounds to me that Karen knows a lot for a 14-year-old. Where is Susan's mother in all this? Maybe Susan shouldn't be learning so much from that lip gloss-wearing Karen and her slutty mother?

Jokes aside, what makes this more interesting is the ad on the back for Jovan Musk: "We help American women stay sexy". The concept is more sobre, the colours more striking. Sexier. Even if it does look like an Absolut Vodka spot, it doesn't have the childish feel of the previous ad.

Rather than being conflicting, the proximity of these two messages perfectly embodies the ambivalent experience of being a teenage girl.

The new body that you're developing is frightening with its sudden spasms, growths and changes. When you're 14, everything feels "so messy and so obvious". You tug on your shirt front so that it doesn't show off your breasts - or lack thereof. And yet, you fantasize about wearing decolleté. You sit at your desk agonizing over the uncomfortable pad between your legs. And yet, you're relieved that you weren't the last girl in your class to get her period.

As scary as it is, you're also learning just how powerful your body can be. What effect it can have on the opposite sex. How good it can feel. As much as you identify with Susan and Karen, you also really long to spray on that Jovan Musk and be a smoky-eyed seductress.

Next week: the cigarette ad I also pulled out of a teeny magazine