The last two weeks at work have been the most grueling I've experienced in three years of employment at the agency. I have worked on 20 different projects - most of them to do with trains - for six different project managers.I love the pace but after another day of generating text like a machine, I am tired.
Right now, I would happily quit my job and dedicate myself fully to revising the current novel and starting a new project. But a girl's gotta eat. And pay for that roof over her head.
Irony is, I miss writing.
I miss my writing. I miss spending time with Reggie and just listening for her voice amid all the words that flow from my fingertips. I miss the flush of satisfaction when I realize what must happen next.
Right now, I would happily quit my job and dedicate myself fully to revising the current novel and starting a new project. But a girl's gotta eat. And pay for that roof over her head.
How to reconcile? Someone send some wisdom quick!
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8 comments:
I wish I knew...my own novel hasn't been touched for six months, which magically coincides with my receiving a work permit and being able to find full-time employment.
If only we didn't need to eat, IR, this would be a whole lot easier. But at least you blog to keep the engine working. I know it's not enough - but it's something, no?
It is something, and it keeps the cobwebs away. But even so, when I was unable to work I did three reviews per week, every week (as well as working on the book). Now I'm lucky if I can get two out.
I know the feeling. But at least the writing is always there waiting for you. When you're ready, it will be ready too.
I think that when work suddenly inflates and fills not only the spaces in our lives that we reserve for writing but also the spaces between those spaces, we must hold fast and remind ourselves "it's not forever". I'd been kicking around the idea of doing an MFA and had just made my peace with the idea of not earning a salary for two years when I discovered that I'm not eligible for the program: my undergrad is in science. As you posted earlier, I think that anything we can do to bridge the gap between having a teeny bit of time to write and having no time to write (e.g. blogging) is a step in the right direction. Keep at it, hon.
Let's continue to encourage each other, please! It really helps.
Hey, if you figure this one out, please let me know. I've been banging away at corporate writing for something like 18 years. Ouch. Needless to say, that famous novel hasn't even seen a page written. And just this weekend I came up with TWO outstanding new ideas -- ideas that will likely moulder into the ground like all the other ones. :-\
When I started my blog I hoped it would encourage me to keep writing *my* stuff. It did, but only on the blog, which doesn't give the same level of satisfaction. 500,000 words later I'm wondering if I should have directed that energy elsewhere...
This may be the yogi talking again, but I don't think any of those 500,000 were wasted. I really do believe that they're all leading to something else, and if you write the Novel (with a capital N) now - or 10 years from now, it doesn't really matter.
As long as you get to eventually write what it is you want to write.
As for me, I think I may call a social moratorium (once my bday has passed of course) and ignore everything else to write in the evening.
I'll keep you posted. You keep me posted. Let's see if we can all help each other to roll things forward.
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