Pinching pennies

I had the pleasure of going to the ballet tonight - Sleeping Beauty by the Grands Ballets Canadiens. Since discovering ballet some three or four years ago, I have tried to see one performance every spring. It's generally a contemporary piece.

I love the powerful surge of bodies against gravity. Ballet's ability to unfold intricate stories with a flick of a wrist or a turn of the head. Le gestuel. And how to describe how sacred I feel when beneath the silence of the room, I hear the dancers breathing.

It's a privilege to see such beauty. And I feel especially fortunate to afford such a privilege.

For many years, when I worked as a freelance writer, I would lie awake at night calculating and recalculating expenses, trying to find a new strategy for paying everything off on time. There was no pocket change for ballet tickets.

Although I'm not 'rolling in it' today, I can afford the occasional ballet tickets. Or pedicure. According to my mother, I spend too much - and she's right, given the fact that she calculates costs based on 1970s standards. It feels good to be able to afford these little luxuries, but the mental calculations never really stop. I still find myself making purchase decisions based on how much money I actually have in my pocket.

"How much...? $7! Right. Then lunch will just have to cost $7."

"Gum would be good. Hmmm. No change? I can live without gum right now."

Certain habits never fade. I'll bet that even if you're rolling in it, you still make calculations... just on a much larger scale.

"How much...? 1.4 million! Right. Then I'll only buy a company worth $1.4 million."

They can probably afford better ballet seats too :)