When: TonightPlace: Kilo
Who: Me. Ladypants. Maur.
What: Discussing a common friend who is orchestrating every aspect of her engagement ring before her boyfriend has even proposed.
Ladypants: I think you should just be happy with whatever ring your boyfriend buys you. I would!
Ad: No. No, you wouldn't. I know plenty of females who have said the same thing, but when they were surprised with the engagement ring, they were very - very - disappointed.
Maur: The engagement ring is something symbolic, but a lot of women just want to show if off to friends and have the ring. If I were given the choice between buying a ring and say - taking a trip to Asia for a month - I would rather get engaged with a trip.
Ad: It's definitely a symbolic thing and if a ring is the desired symbol, that's okay, but you still have to deal with the possibility that the woman will be disappointed. And not necessarily because the diamond isn't big enough. I think I might be disappointed that my boyfriend doesn't know me well enough to give me something that he knows I'll appreciate.
Ladypants: And where's the element of surprise if you're controlling everything from the start?
Ad: If the guy were smart, he'd ask her best friend to shop with him. The BFF knows.
Maur: If the guy were smart, he wouldn't marry someone who only cared about diamonds.
Ladypants: Let's get candy!
So are we a bunch of candy-loving idealists, or did we get close to the heart of the issue?
Posts
4 comments:
The other day, someone asked my boyfriend what kind of engagement ring he would get me if we ever got engaged. He said, "nah, she's not a ring kinda gal."
The same person asked me separately what kind of engagement ring I would want, probably to confirm my boyfriend's unexpected response (there are only 5 of us in the "No diamonds anonymous" support group). To which I replied, "Nah. I'm not a ring kinda gal."
The moral of the story is, he knows I'm not a ring kinda gal, and that's why there's a chance we might get married.
The same can also apply to ring kinda gals.
Rings = symbols. Symbols = perceptions. Perceptions = truth, validation and power. I cannot imagine being around anyone as controlling as her for five minutes let alone forever.
No matter how many arguments one makes that are similar to the things said in this post, it always comes down to this: An awesome ring matters because it's what she wants. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone but her, and it doesn't matter what he has to do to get it. It's what she WANTS. He had just better get used to that. Forever.
Anyway, I am sure that she deserves it, because she probably does stupid over-the-top shit for him all the time, like respecting his opinions, or having sex with him sometimes. No, wait...
Verification word = butima.
I love it that my friends are all so civilized.
Except I would like to hear from someone who does want a ginormous rock - just to hear why.
Butima.
You know there has to be someone named butima somewhere...
Post a Comment