Pheromones and your period

Oh, the cruelty of the menstrual cycle!

Somewhere between ovulation and your period, it has been said that women secret sex pheromones, or as the non-sciencey people call it, invisible sexual magnetism. Biologically, our bodies are silently calling out to fertile men, letting them know that this "land" is ready to be "seeded".

Some of you ladies may have noticed that in the week before your period, the number of compliments you receive increase significantly. Suddenly, you are a total sex bomb and everyone is smiling in your direction with eyebrows lasciviously waggling.

No makeup? Old t-shirt? No matter! The pheromones are doing all the work for you!

For example, despite no effort on my part, in the last four days, I've been:

• overtly ogled in the gay village (by a non-gay I imagine, let's not over-exaggerate my charms)
• talked at in a lively fashion by a group of middle aged Portuguese man outside a sports bar (don't understand Portuguese but their eyes said it all)
  
• hello-ed by a young blond thing on his bike while crossing an intersection
• accosted by a pug dog who tried to make love to my shoe

So why do I lament the "cruelty" of the menstrual cycle? Because this increase in my charms generally coincides with a degradation of my verbal skills. My jokes fall flat, nothing I say makes sense to anyone except other hormone-addled females, and my ability to speak coherent French takes a four-day vacation.

So what's the lesson to be learned here, ladies?

In the week before your period: smile a lot and say little.