Like speaking French, showing good judgment is something that becomes easier the more you practice. The exercise of said good judgment is especially important when you blog. Although blogs are a personal arena for public expression, you are still bound by certain laws.
As some bloggers however, find it difficult to draw the line between "notable" and "too much information", let's review some guidelines!
Don't get too close for comfort
If one of your friends has a quirk or character flaw that drives you crazy, it's best to not rant about it on your blog - especially if you want to keep said friend. You might tell yourself, "ah, she never reads my blog!", but karma has teeth, kids. Chances are, if you publish disparaging commentary about a friend who (say) behaves badly with wait staff in a restaurant, that will be the same day that she decides to "check the blog you're always talking about". Being the self-centered humans we are, we tend to think everything is about us, so not only will she call you in tears, but a few others may also call wondering if the rudie-rudnik in question is them.
If one of your friends has a quirk or character flaw that drives you crazy, it's best to not rant about it on your blog - especially if you want to keep said friend. You might tell yourself, "ah, she never reads my blog!", but karma has teeth, kids. Chances are, if you publish disparaging commentary about a friend who (say) behaves badly with wait staff in a restaurant, that will be the same day that she decides to "check the blog you're always talking about". Being the self-centered humans we are, we tend to think everything is about us, so not only will she call you in tears, but a few others may also call wondering if the rudie-rudnik in question is them.
Solutions
- Make it general ("Don't you hate it when...")
- Going to mention the friend anyway? Ask yourself "Is this something I would say to her face?"
- All of this also applies to clients you may have. Don't let your blog be bad for business.
Don't use your blog to exact revenge on your ex
Do not - I repeat DO NOT - use your blog to exact revenge upon exes, family members, friends, business associates, etc. Your comments are thinly veiled. Like rice-paper thin! Your readers may not know who you are referring to, but it just makes you look petty and it weakens your credibility.
Do not - I repeat DO NOT - use your blog to exact revenge upon exes, family members, friends, business associates, etc. Your comments are thinly veiled. Like rice-paper thin! Your readers may not know who you are referring to, but it just makes you look petty and it weakens your credibility.
Solutions
- Take your anger elsewhere. Join a boxing gym so you can punch stuff and not so much the keyboard.
- I don't know... maybe address your comments to the party in question? Privately?
- All of this also applies to FB status lines. For example: "Malkin is disappointed in his so called friends." I may not know all of Malkin's friends, but it still seems kind of childish to be putting that out on FB.
More will follow, undoubtedly.
Posts
6 comments:
I am frequently appalled by what people will put in their FB status lines! It's almost as though they have no filters.
I recently happened upon a trainwreck of a blog where someone was calling out her mother-in-law. That just seemed like bad juju all around.
I'm often surprised by how many people treat their blog like a diary that they can hide under their bed or in their underwear drawer. I've sometimes read stuff on people's blogs that's made me inwardly scream, "but they might be reading this!"
It actually happened to someone close to me. She was going through some difficulties with one of her friends and wasn't sure if said friend was being a bitch or if she was just paranoid. Then I found said friend's blog during a bored afternoon of Googling people I know. And the blog was just full of bile and vitriol against my close friend. It made me so sad and angry that she'd put all this stuff in the public domain but wouldn't talk to the subject of her wrath about it.
Very sage advice!...and now, I have some deleting to do.
Jill: I've seen your blog - I think you're okay!
IR: One friend in particular was having an issue with her ex-boyfriend who was using his blog to air out their past conflicts. When she confronted him about it, he denied everything.
The old "It wasn't me!" defense.
It's appalling what people will publish. But don't worry, the anecdote I just recounted will only be seen by the girl in question and I know she won't argue with her ex's inappropriate behaviour :)
MHM: Check out this old blog post of mine:
http://www.adrianapalanca.com/2009/02/valentines-day-status-lines.html.
In it, my friend Olivia reproduced a series of FB status lines that will curl your hair (if it isn't already)
This is why, instead of commenting on your "Don't Be So Shallow About Sex" post, I just took you out to dinner and had a great, private conversation!
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